


For the Better

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anorexia, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 18:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14266635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	For the Better

“Please?” Spencer breathed, gathering your frail hands in his own and kissing them. “I can’t sit around and watch you kill yourself like this.”

That had been the last straw. Watching your boyfriend sob because he was scared for your life was enough. As was the realization that you would change for your boyfriend, but didn’t have the strength to do it for yourself. You should’ve wanted to get healthy for you, but you didn’t. That was something else you needed to address. 

Something told you that him seeing you off would keep you from entering the facility, so a week after you spoke about your disorder, you admitted yourself while he was at work. “Where are you?” He asked later that day in a text. He had probably just gotten home.

Y/N: I admitted myself. I’m at Rosewood.

Though he wasn’t with you, you could hear him exhale. 

Y/N: After we spoke, I realized who I was hurting. But I also realized that you being the reason I entered, and not myself…that’s a problem. 

For a few moments before you would surrender your phone, you told Spencer he couldn’t come to see you for a couple of weeks. The doctors at the facility suggested you focus solely on recovery for a while, and even though he wanted what was best for you, him being around would do more harm than good.

S: I’m…going to miss you. 

Y/N: I’ll miss you too, but I need to focus on myself.

S: I understand.

The guilt that tore through you was phenomenal. It was just a text but you could hear the disappointment in his voice.

S: I love you.

Y/N: I love you too Spence. Hopefully when we see each other again I’ll be on the upswing.

Surrendering your phone was both the hardest thing to do and yet the best thing for you. Once it was out of your grasp, you had nothing to do but focus on yourself. 

This was scary.

\---

For two weeks, you attended group therapy sessions (they sucked), individual therapy sessions (much better), nutritional counseling (thinking about eating all that was terrifying), art sessions (those were nice) and body image programming (fucking mentally exhausting), you were finally allowed visitors.

Why were you so terrified to see Spencer?

Maybe he wouldn’t want to wait for you. Maybe you wouldn’t feel the same way about him. 

When he walked through the door, you smiled softly. He looked so tired, but he did look happy to see you so that was a plus. “Hi, love,” he muttered against your hair. “You’re looking healthier.”

“I’ve gain five pounds,” you replied. “I hate it, but the doctors say just gaining a little bit is heading in the right direction. It’ll take a while for my brain to catch up with my body.”

Something was different. Your conservation was stilted. It’s like you didn’t know what to say to each other. And yet, you had missed him. Was this normal? Would your relationship go back to the way it was? 

\---

“How do you feel today?”

“Pretty okay,” you smiled. “I managed to look in the mirror this morning and say something nice about myself. That’s the first time I was able to do that.”

Spencer leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I’m so proud of you,” he replied. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to see yourself how I see you.”

Things changed between the two of you, almost like you had to build your relationship back up to where it had been before. Every time you took two steps forward, something else would knock you five steps back. There were fights. Both of you questioned whether the other one truly cared after things got lost in translation. You had to learn to converse in a completely different way - click with someone again the way you had before, even though both of you were different now.

Day by day, conversation by conversation, things started to return to normal. Actually things were completely different, but it had all been for the better. “Would you like an orange? They’re really sweet,” he said, handing one over to you.

With no hesitation, you peeled back the layers, feeling the citrusy spray cover your hand. “Mmm, this is good. Really good.” You savored each slice, debating whether or not to have another one but deciding against it, going for a little protein instead. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been so free around food. It felt amazing. “Spence, try this chicken, it’s amazing.”

At your side, he smiled in awe. He’d stopped eating to look at you. “You look so healthy. You’re so free now.”

“I feel it,” you replied happily. “I’m just glad we didn’t lose each other in the process.”

Spencer’s smile momentarily dropped before he kissed your temple. “Me too. You’re both the same person and completely different than you were before. And I feel like you’re starting to see what I see when I look at you.”

“I am,” you said, hesitating as you glanced down at your body and subconsciously began picking yourself apart before shaking away the nagging voice in the back of your mind. “I have a long way to go. But I’m getting there.”


End file.
